"You Don't Belong on the Road" is sung by the Smith's insurance adjuster Heinrich Brown, and a team of backup insurance agents in "The Fast and the Spurious" as they try to explain to Roger why he shouldn't be driving. Heinrich starts to sing it as a rap number, But then reveals that's not really his style, and breaks into a rhythm and blues type number. It is a parody of the Boyz II Men song "End of the Road".
Lyrics[]
- Heinrich: I'm here to explain the reasons Uncle Roger is a threat to everything I hold dear as an insurance adjuster.
- To do so, I'll be using a form of street poetry colloquially known as "rap."
- [rap music plays]
- Get up, unh, unh
- My name is Heinrich Brown and I'm here to say
- Uncle Roger drives in a terrible way
- Behind the wheel, he's negligent
- [Heinrich stops]
- I'm sorry, I just... can't. [record scratches] This hardened exterior is a lie. I only pretend to be tough because working in insurance requires a lot of machismo.
- But I need to be honest with myself. I don't want to rap. I want to... Sing
- [R&B music plays]
- Uncle Roger, frankly, there should be a hall of fame for all your accidents.
- I heard they were building one and you drove right through it.
- I guess the only thing left to say is...All right, here we go! Full singing!
- Roger, you know
- That you don't belong on the road
- But you can't let go
- It's so apropos
- That we're increasing
- Your deductible
- [As the backup singers file into the living room, Steve turns to Francine]
- Steve: I told you I saw a bunch of people in the basement.
- Francine: I still don't believe you.
- Heinrich with backup: No, you don't belong on the road
- But you can't let go
- Every single day
- You cause Stan to crash
- Into a flagpoooooole
- Oh, he is crashing
- He's going down, down, down'
- Roger, you know that you don't belong on the road
- Somehow he walks away every time
- But you can't let go
- Roger: This song hurts my feelings, which sucks, because its already stuck in my head.