- Barry: Thanks for driving me home, Mr. Smith. We're going faster than people.
- Stan: Quiet, fatty fat-fat fatty!
- Stan: Careful, Steve! He's as mad as he is fat.
- Evil Barry: I know you've seen The Princess Bride.
- Steve: You're stalling.
- Evil Barry: And I knew you were going to say that. I know you're a handful at boy-girl parties, your name backwards is "Nevets," and your aim at the urinal is, shall we say, less than accurate?
- Steve: Are you gonna choose a glass?
- Steve: Hey, that's my dad's Tara Reid collector's plate. You can't touch that. You know how much that'll be worth in a few months when she's dead?
- Stan: So, Barry, want to wind down by watching the best movie ever, Red Dawn?
- Barry: I'm Barry!
- Francine: Are you still moping about Steve? Come on. He's just going through a phase. It's like Steve is America and you're Arrested Development. It doesn't mean you're bad, it just means he's not interested in you.
- Hayley: Well, I'm off to petition my college for an Eskimo studies program.
- Roger: What?! They don't have one? I'm sorry, Stan, I'd love to help you, but the Eskimos, their plight, that's the real stuff here.
- Hayley: You care about the Eskimos?
- Roger: Yeah, yeah, I love their pies. Keep going. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.
- Barry: Oh, time to take my vitamin. May I have a glass of water?
- Stan: Fatty can use the garden hose!
- Evil Barry: You're not in any position to be calling the shots, Steve. I'm the one holding the gun.
- Steve: Sure, you could kill me with your gun, but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?
- Hayley & Friends: Beer breath and bloodshot eyes are not things to subsidize!
- Stan: Your voice!
- Barry: Soothing, isn't it? Sweet and terrible like Madman's Lullaby.
- Roger: Tired of getting spanked by dudes anyway.
- Stan: Man, I'm getting hungry. Hey, let's go dig up your mother so she can make us breakfast.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// With Friends Like Steve's's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| American Dad Season 1 | Season 2 >> | ||||||||||
| #01 | Pilot (American Dad!) | #09 | A Smith In The Hand | #17 | Rough Trade | ||||||
| #02 | Threat Levels | #10 | All About Steve | #18 | Finances With Wolves | ||||||
| #03 | Stan Knows Best | #11 | Con Heir | #19 | It's Good to Be the Queen | ||||||
| #04 | Francine's Flashback | #12 | Stan of Arabia: Part 1 | #20 | Roger 'n' Me | ||||||
| #05 | Roger Codger | #13 | Stan of Arabia: Part 2 | #21 | Helping Handis | ||||||
| #06 | Homeland Insecurity | #14 | Stannie Get Your Gun | #22 | With Friends Like Steve's | ||||||
| #07 | Deacon Stan, Jesus Man | #15 | Star Trek | #23 | Tears of a Clooney | ||||||
| #08 | Bullocks To Stan | #16 | Not Particularly Desperate Housewives |
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