- Roger: [At the cancer hospital ward] You're all going to die. Your parents and your doctors are lying to you.
- Roger: Out of TP in there, Bonkers, so I had to use the corner of your Ferrari poster. Man, that Lorraine is a cold bitch. Grinning after you told her her bird was de... You didn't tell her, did you?
- Roger: Wheels, may I speak with you? Papa Wheelie, why don't you go fill out your HR forms. Teddy Bonkers will help you.
- Stan: Th...the teddy bear?
- Roger: Teddy bear?! His name is Theodore Bonkers. He's not the smartest guy, but he tries harder than anyone I've ever met. I've met Ed Burns. Go talk to him.
- Steve: Just go with it.
- [Stan rides his bike like a unicycle to read the clipboard and gets out a pen]
- Roger: What the hell, Wheels?!
- Steve: He was so excited. I...I couldn't let him down.
- Stan: Uh, it says "List previous work experience or draw a picture of a cowboy." I can't draw a cowboy. Is a pirate acceptable?
- Roger: Yes.
- Roger: Listen, Wheels, the grandfather may have left a clue in this piano.
- Steve: Why is that, Legman?
- Roger: 'Cause it's out of key.
- [Steve and Roger laugh]
- Steve: A clue would have been grand.
- [Steve and Roger laugh]
- [Stan comes out of nowhere riding his bicycle]
- Stan: In the sand.
- Roger: You made me stop laughing!
- Klaus: The walls of my anus are cuter than that panda. Take my picture.
- Francine: Well, Klaus, I guess Roger's ass is cuter than you... dick.
- Roger: Ba-Ba-Ba-Brawny!
- Stan: I get that joke. Because cocaine comes in keys.
- Steve: The Legman doesn't joke about cocaine.
- Roger: Cocaine is not a joking matter.
- Dane Cook: I'm telling you, a girl's friends get in her ear, it is over. They're all, "make him take you to a restaurant, make him buy you sandals."
- Steve: I don't care what every single person on earth says... you're hilarious!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 6 | American Dad Season 7 | Season 8 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | Hot Water | #07 | Season's Beatings | #13 | Dr. Klaustus | ||||||
| #02 | Hurricane! | #08 | The Unbrave One | #14 | Stan's Best Friend | ||||||
| #03 | A Ward Show | #09 | Stanny Tendergrass | #15 | Less Money, Mo' Problems | ||||||
| #04 | The Worst Stan | #10 | Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key | #16 | The Kidney Stays in the Picture | ||||||
| #05 | Virtual In-Stanity | #11 | Old Stan in the Mountain | #17 | Ricky Spanish | ||||||
| #06 | The Scarlett Getter | #12 | The Wrestler | #18 | Toy Whorey | ||||||