"We Can't Trust the Fish" is sung by family, led by Dick when they ire him to not only watch the house while they're away in "A New Era For The Smith House", but to particularly keep an eye on Klaus, who replaced a cardboard photo frame with a better one after the former was accidentally destroyed during a previous trip.
Lyrics[]
- Dick: A pet sitter should be kind
- Handsome with no warts, always on time
- Good with animals, no warts
- Steve: [To Hayley] He is really emphasizing "no warts." It's making me think he has warts.
- Francine: I love where you were going with the song, But we should probably explain. This isn't your typical pet sitting job.
- We're looking for a candidate to keep their eyes on Klaus
- Klaus: This guy is pathetic, can't trust him with our house
- Stan: We need someone who's vigilant
- Make sure he stays in line
- Klaus: I've always been the one in charge
- The house has been just fine
- Steve: Don't let him order Instacart
- He'll leave you with the fee
- Hayley: He'll sneak right into Steve's room
- And read his diary
- Steve: It's a blog!
- Jeff: No, we can't trust the fish with our things
- Klaus: Can't trust me? This house would be a hovel without me.
- Without me, who would Swiffer
- Who'd spray the yard for ticks?
- I'm the one who keeps the house
- Don't need no help from Dick
- Dick: I think that my experience makes me the perfect fit
- I'll never take my eyes off him
- I'll watch him while I shit
- Francine: Cause we can't trust the fish with our things
- Steve: No, we can't trust the fish
- All: With our things