Stan: The Stan Smith Wrestling Museum, dedicated to the high school wrestling career of Stan Smith.
Steve: Um...I've lived in this house my whole life. How long has this been here?
Roger: Construction of the museum began in 1998. I should know because like Ross on Friends, I'm a docent but unlike Ross, I don't look like a Monchhichi.
Francine: I take the tour every day except for Sundays when the tour is free and the place gets a little [whispers] ethnic.
Stan: The only thing is if you want to get anywhere in life, you'll have to join the wrestling team.
Steve: Gee, Dad. That sounds great. Oh, no. The school doesn't have a wrestling program anymore. Aah, squigglebottom!
Stan: What? I am outraged!
Roger: Well, take your outraged elsewhere. I have another group coming through. We'll exit through the gift shop. [they walk over to the counter and he takes out a CD] Make sure to check out our "Stan Smith: Pan Flute Rain Forest Music" [pan flute plays] Each song sounds the same, yet somehow manages to be worse than the last.
Roger: You know what kid I wanted to kill? The youngest daughter in Mrs. Doubtfire. Hated her face. By the time I could get a good shot at her, she had grown up and turned into nothing.