For a complete script, see: "The Return of the Bling" on the Transcripts Wiki

[Reggie stops Hayley from kissing him]
Reggie: Look, do I know if it's gonna work out with my lady friend? No, I don't, but I have to respect Rhonda. If I didn't, I'd be just like those boys you run around with down at the school yard.
Hayley: Wow! That's really honorable. She's a lucky lady, but I want you to know two things. I sleep with my door unlocked and this just happened.
[Hayley walks away topless and Reggie slumps back in the couch]
Reggie: Whoo! She got the drop on old Reggie, caught those full in the face. If those were guns, Reggie'd be dead.

Stan: When I wake up, there better not be a wiener slapping me in the face.

Roger: [After shooting Stan] Sorry again about the whole cheek thing. I didn't mean to...
Stan: Nonsense. You just gave me another hole for your glory to shine through. A glory hole in my face.

Stan: [to Steve] Every day with you is a punch in the nads.

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