- Steve: The teacher here is supposed to be the most intense and demanding instructor in all of clowning, and... shit, it's Roger, isn't it? It's gonna be Roger.

- Roger: I gotta take this. It's my ac-clown-tant... you know, a clown-accountant. He's got this giant calculator that only ever adds up to boobs. Pretty funny, but frankly, I think he's been stealing from me.
- Stan: Dammit, O'Shanahan's! I just fixed her face!
- Stan: Three virtues that can be summed up in one word; LOYNTEGRITY.
- Nurse's aid: Mrs. Smith, if you don't mind, I need to re-catheterize your daughter's penis.
- Francine: Sure. Sure. Whatever.
- Klaus: Goofus McDoof sends his regards!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// The Mural of the Story's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 12 | American Dad Season 13 | Season 14 >> | ||||||
| #01 | Santa, Schmanta | #09 | The Never-Ending Stories | #16 | Persona Assistant | |||
| #02 | Paranoid Frandroid | #10 | Railroaded | #17 | The Legend of Old Ulysses | |||
| #03 | The Census of the Lambs | #11 | My Purity Ball and Chain | #18 | Twinanigans | |||
| #04 | Shell Game | #12 | OreTron Trail | #19 | Top of the Steve | |||
| #05 | The Mural of the Story | #13 | Mean Francine | #20 | Funnyish Games | |||
| #06 | (You Gotta) Strike For Your Right | #14 | One-Woman Swole | #21 | Fleabiscuit | |||
| #07 | Klaustastrophe.TV | #15 | Flavortown | #22 | The Future is Borax | |||
| #08 | Death by Dinner Party |
| ||||||