For a complete script, see: "The Missing Kink" on the Transcripts Wiki
- Steve: I DO NOT APPROVE OF YOUR METHODS!!
- [Stan spanks Francine to show her how hard he spanks Steve]
- Francine: Oh, my.
- Stan: What do you mean, "oh my"? It's supposed to hurt.
- Francine: No, no, it does, it does! But show me again how you do it.
- [Hayley agrees to go out for pizza with Snot]
- Snot: HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW? I DID IT!!
- Steve: Buddy, your pits.
- Snot: Yo.
- Stan: Have you been setting Steve up this whole time?
- Francine: Yes, I'm very bad. You should spank me.
- Stan: Why would you do that to him?
- Francine: Spank me and I'll tell you.
- Roger: Well, there are ways to get people to do what you want without they're knowing it.
- Francine: Are you suggesting I trick him?
- Roger: Sure, it's easy. I once got him to drink my pee by telling him it was a fancy beer.
- Francine: What an idiot.
- Stan: The Church sent missionaries to America to teach the Indians the correct method of sex. in return, they taught us the correct method of sitting in second grade.
- TV Announcer: Next on Fox, another fucking singing contest!
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