American Dad Wikia
Francine: [to Hayley, who hasn't left her room for weeks] You made a big one! Thanks for using the newspaper this time. Covered the whole comic section. Bet that's not the first time Cathy's had that done on her face.

Hayley: Mom, Dad, this is Millionaire Matt Davis. We met in the burn ward.
Stan: A millionaire? Okay, what is premium gasoline like? Does it smell as good as I think it does?

Steve: Did someone just drop a house on me?!

Roger: [after turning himself inside out] Stan! Reversing this is a two-man job! Stan? [is rolled around on the dirt by raccoons] Hey! No, stop! You're getting my insides dirty? Stan!

[sixty years into the future]
Jeff: You two are still best friends?
Steve: Actually we're a couple now. We made a pact that we'd married each other if we were still single by the time we turned 21. In retrospect, we probably should've set the age a little higher.
Snot: We take turns being the girl.
Steve: No, no we don't.

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