American Dad Wikia
Klaus: [On visiting Arizona State] Oh, man. If you knew what I had in store for you, all your worries would melt away. You'd be swaddled tight, wrapped safely in my freshly laundered plans.
Steve: Klaus, what the fuck are you talking about?

Klaus: Has anyone noticed we're watching gay porn?"
Frat brother: Maybe it's only gay at the beginning, I say we keep watching.

[The doctor reluctantly agrees that Stan is free of AIDS]
Stan: Hear that Francine, docs given me a prescription for raw doggin.
Roger: Yeah!

Francine: [Concerned about shocking Stan] Roger. this finger zapping thing isn't going to hurt, right?
Roger: Not a bit. [Stan collapses in convulsions as Roger shocks him]
Francine: You said it wouldn't hurt.
Roger: No, I said it wouldn't hurt me. You need to listen girl.

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