- Roger: I know "The Button." I used to cruise and sell Ecstasy there. You know, I created Ecstasy.
- Stan: You didn't create Ecstasy, Roger.
- Roger: I did too create Ecstasy. I'll prove it! Klaus, my files.
- Klaus: I am not your secretary! [He spins in his bowl and reappears wearing a wig, lipstick, a dress, and heels] Now I am.
- [Hayley is in the hospital]
- Stan: I...might not be Hayley's father? You've cheated on me?
- Francine: I'm sorry. It happened a few days before our wedding at my bachelorette party.
- Stan: A few days before the wedding? While I was dealing with small details that ultimately made of the most beautiful day of my life? A box of flip-flops so the girls could dance.
- Francine: I was freaking out that my life was changing. I was going from being this party girl to being someone's wife. And I got drunk and [sighs] It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Can you ever forgive me?
- [Stan comes close to her]
- Stan: You... big... whore. I don't know why I'm holding you like this. It must be very confusing.
- Doctor: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, bad news. Your daughter's second kidney's only working at 20%.
- Roger: You know how they take kidneys out?
- Steve: No.
- Roger: You'll walk into your room and there will be plastic sheets all over the floor. Before you can react, a man in a ski mask will tie you to a chair with an Indian braided belt he got on vacation in Santa Fe. They'll turn on some Huey Lewis, and then cut the damn thing out with a rusty keyhole saw. No antiseptic, no Novocaine, no nothing. Just the song "Hip to Be Square" drowning out your boyish screams.
- Francine: Oh no!
- Kelly Wilk: That's right! Ultimate Kellies!
- Hayley: What's in it?
- Kelly Wilk: Don't worry about it. Let's just say it's why Montel Williams has MS.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// The Kidney Stays in the Picture's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 6 | American Dad Season 7 | Season 8 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | Hot Water | #07 | Season's Beatings | #13 | Dr. Klaustus | ||||||
| #02 | Hurricane! | #08 | The Unbrave One | #14 | Stan's Best Friend | ||||||
| #03 | A Ward Show | #09 | Stanny Tendergrass | #15 | Less Money, Mo' Problems | ||||||
| #04 | The Worst Stan | #10 | Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key | #16 | The Kidney Stays in the Picture | ||||||
| #05 | Virtual In-Stanity | #11 | Old Stan in the Mountain | #17 | Ricky Spanish | ||||||
| #06 | The Scarlett Getter | #12 | The Wrestler | #18 | Toy Whorey | ||||||