American Dad Wikia
[Roger makes a rainbow]
Francine: Oh my God! You can do that?
Roger: Yeah, when I'm really happy.
[Francine walks through it] Ew.
Roger: Yeah, it's made out of pee-pee.

Steve: I'm gonna fail this assignment because my dad won't open up.
Snot: I'm gonna fail cause my dad went to Home Depot five years ago and never came back.

Stan: It's an Oscar, for God's sake.

Francine: They said they wanted to come, but they couldn't because... they didn't want to come.

Klaus: It's high school, Steve. It doesn't matter
Steve: You said that about middle school. When's it start to matter?
Klaus and Stan: Never.

Roger: And I'd usually fall asleep on the pot. Those crappers heat up big time in the sun, so when I woke up a couple hours later, I'd be drenched in sweat. Half the time, I pooed in my sleep.

Roger: It's right here on her butt. "I Hate Steve."
Steve: [laughing nervously] He's just joshing, right, Ma?
Francine: Look! There's nothing there!
Steve: Oh, God! Mom!
Roger: [laughing] You B.A.'d your son!
[Camera pans to the right to show Snot looking in through the kitchen window]
Snot: Uh, the bus is here?
Steve: Get outta here, Snot!

Francine: [talking slowly so actor can understand] Is this your drinking water?
Actor: [looks at Roger for help] Um... goo-goo gah-gah?

Snot: [Pretending to be Steve] Dad, what do Mom's boobs look like?
Stan: I'll tell ya, Snot. They're perfect. Creamy twins with faint blue veins running over them like cooling streams I can wash my face in.

Mr. Brink: Life dismissed.

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