American Dad Wikia
American Dad Wikia
Stan: We've all done weird stuff when Francine was out of town.

Stan: If I had died in that crash today, who would have remembered me?
Francine: I would.
Stan: That's right, nobody!

Stan: Look at that cheap weave, Bitch got no class!

Stan: Epiphany isn’t just a name a black person gives their child.

Francine: Stan, can you please talk to your daughter. Look at her!
Stan: My God! Get that slut shrapnel out of your face this instant!
Hayley: It's just a nose ring.
Stan: It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about.
Francine: Listen to your father. Sting's become a bit of a douche.

Francine: Stan, I thought you gave up looking for Ollie's gold years ago.
Stan: Because the kids came along, and I didn't have time anymore!
Hayley: My God! Is that why my middle name is Dreamsmasher?
Stan: It sure is, Hayley.

Francine: Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith, did you put that nose ring back in?

Bernice: Steve may read at a 10th grade level, but he kisses at a 12th grade level.

Stan: Didn't I support you when you wanted to open that small business?
Francine: No. You didn't.
Stan: Then stop bringing it up.

Francine: The living room is a hole with a donkey in it!

Stan: Au! Get it? Au. That's the chemical symbol for gold.

Stan: Goooooooool...d.

Stan: [As dirt falls on him] Is that dirt or donkey?

Roger: Damn uterus, refreshing itself every month like it owns the joint.

Hayley: Dad is nuts. There is no gold, but I don't care as long as he doesn't hassle me about my piercings. Did your father hassle you about stuff? [Terry nods, begins crying] What's the matter, Terry? Why are you crying?

Robot: Master Steven, shall I initiate pleasure sequence alpha five omega?
Steve: My bitch is horny.

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes