- Stan: We've all done weird stuff when Francine was out of town.
- Stan: If I had died in that crash today, who would have remembered me?
- Francine: I would.
- Stan: That's right, nobody!
- Stan: Look at that cheap weave, Bitch got no class!
- Stan: Epiphany isn’t just a name a black person gives their child.
- Francine: Stan, can you please talk to your daughter. Look at her!
- Stan: My God! Get that slut shrapnel out of your face this instant!
- Hayley: It's just a nose ring.
- Stan: It's a gateway piercing. Next thing you know, you'll have a bone for your lip like one of those rain forest people that Sting is always whining about.
- Francine: Listen to your father. Sting's become a bit of a douche.
- Francine: Stan, I thought you gave up looking for Ollie's gold years ago.
- Stan: Because the kids came along, and I didn't have time anymore!
- Hayley: My God! Is that why my middle name is Dreamsmasher?
- Stan: It sure is, Hayley.
- Francine: Hayley Dreamsmasher Smith, did you put that nose ring back in?
- Bernice: Steve may read at a 10th grade level, but he kisses at a 12th grade level.
- Stan: Didn't I support you when you wanted to open that small business?
- Francine: No. You didn't.
- Stan: Then stop bringing it up.
- Francine: The living room is a hole with a donkey in it!
- Stan: Au! Get it? Au. That's the chemical symbol for gold.
- Stan: Goooooooool...d.
- Stan: [As dirt falls on him] Is that dirt or donkey?
- Roger: Damn uterus, refreshing itself every month like it owns the joint.
- Hayley: Dad is nuts. There is no gold, but I don't care as long as he doesn't hassle me about my piercings. Did your father hassle you about stuff? [Terry nods, begins crying] What's the matter, Terry? Why are you crying?
- Robot: Master Steven, shall I initiate pleasure sequence alpha five omega?
- Steve: My bitch is horny.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 2 | American Dad Season 3 | Season 4 >> | ||||||
| #01 | The Vacation Goo | #07 | Surro-Gate | #13 | Red October Sky | |||
| #02 | Meter Made | #08 | The Most Adequate Christmas Ever | #14 | Office Spaceman | |||
| #03 | Dope & Faith | #09 | Frannie 911 | #15 | Stanny Slickers 2: The Legend of Ollie's Gold | |||
| #04 | Big Trouble in Little Langley | #10 | Tearjerker | #16 | Spring Break-Up | |||
| #05 | Haylias | #11 | Oedipal Panties | |||||
| #06 | 42-Year-Old Virgin | #12 | Widowmaker | |||||