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in: Episodes, Season 13

Santa, Schmanta/Quotes

< Santa, Schmanta
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Snot: Hanukkah's always been second fiddle to Christmas. We don't have any catchy songs or Santa. This is a tough time of the year for us.
Roger: [as Uncle Roger] Are there, or have there ever been, other tough times for Jewish people?
Snot: Yes.
Snot: Are you Mr. Smith's brother?
Roger: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not related to Stan or Francine. I'm Steve's direct uncle.
Francine: You're putting words in my mouth!
Roger: It's better than what other people put in there.
Stan: Can you believe the news about Greg?
Francine: Why would it feel weird? We were just having fun. It was a rager! He needs to relax.
Roger: So kids, if you want presents from Schmanta this year, don't put out milk and cookies, put out lox and bagels. And call your mother, she's very worried about you.
Stan: We need to go to Miami to get that suit from Roger, and maybe after, we can take birthday shots for Jesus on the crystal dance floor at Club Bardot.
Steve: Dad, you little party animal. Who else has a surprise up their sleeve?
Suit-secrets
Steve: Maybe next Christmas, no one will die.
[All laugh]
Hayley: Yeah, right.
Snot: That's the Star of David.
Roger: David? Screw that guy. Wait, should I screw that guy? Put out some feelers to David. See if he's DTF.
Snot: Yeah, David is not DTF because he's been dead for 4,000 years.
Roger: Done worse. I fucked a chicken.
Francine: Oh, my God. P.F. Chung's has a side business storing corpses they find in the mall?
Francine: [After reanimating Santa Claus] Oh, my God, Snot's a witch. BURN HIM!
Roger: Holla at Jew boy!

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