For a complete script, see: "Pulling Double Booty" on the Transcripts Wiki
- [At a forest, Hayley rings Stan's phone, revealing the ruse]
- Hayley: Dad?
- Stan: [answers it] Uh, hello. Hey, Johnny, yeah. [to Hayley] It's work. [on the phone] Well, look in the book. Is it a warehouse item? [to Hayley, whispers] Five minutes.
- Hayley: Dad, you're talking to me on the phone, and in your voice. [Hayley figures out what is going on] Oh my God! Are You KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
- Stan: Uh, I love you honey! I said it. See? Hayley, wait! I can explain! I had a good reason. [Hayley brings out a box of matches] Oh, you grabbed some matches from the hotel... little keepsake. Now, you don't want to tear one of those out. The serious collector keeps his matchbooks intact. [Hayley rips out a match and strikes it] Oh, now it's worthless.
- Stan: Francine tried to hide the cookie dough in the washing machine, but I found it. I always find it.
- Francine: [upon learning Hayley might go to jail] Jail?! She'll never survive! Tiny cells! The gangs! Getting shanked in the cafeteria! [Francine makes a fake stabbing and twisting motion in the air] The first couple of stabs break the skin, and then they really drive it in there! And my baby's all "AHH! You bitch, I'll kill you!"
- Stan: That was a haunting scenelet, Francine.
- Saunders: Did you blab? Why'd you tell people?
- Saunders' Double: C'mon, it was my first sloppy seconds!
- Francine: [talking about Hayley] I don't know, Stan. I think what she needs right now is our love and support. [Hayley wakes up and starts to strangle Francine] Shoot her! Shoot her in the face!
- Roger: And just like that I'm working for the Chinese again.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Pulling Double Booty's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| << Season 3 | American Dad Season 4 | Season 5 >> | |||||||||
| #01 | 1600 Candles | #08 | Chimdale | #15 | Wife Insurance | ||||||
| #02 | The One That Got Away | #09 | Stan Time | #16 | Delorean Story-an | ||||||
| #03 | One Little Word | #10 | Family Affair | #17 | Every Which Way But Lose | ||||||
| #04 | Choosy Wives Choose Smith | #11 | Live and Let Fry | #18 | Weiner of Our Discontent | ||||||
| #05 | Escape from Pearl Bailey | #12 | Roy Rogers McFreely | #19 | Daddy Queerest | ||||||
| #06 | Pulling Double Booty | #13 | Jack's Back | #20 | Stan's Night Out | ||||||
| #07 | Phantom of the Telethon | #14 | Bar Mitzvah Hustle | ||||||||