- Roger: [After falling from the table] Oh God, I've got a bear claw in my ass.
- Roger: [hisses air through his teeth] Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies.
- Roger: [After Stan shoots Thor] Geez Stan, what gives? Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! And don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing because that's a giant load of crap.
- Roger: Hey, kudos on the biotch!
- Roger: Uh, gesundheit?
- [Stan shoots the toaster]
- Hayley: It's just toast, Dad.
- Stan: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.
- Roger: Oh, don't everybody help at once.
- Iraqi Man: Oh, for Allah's sake, put some clothes on!
- Passerby: Hey dumbass, your dog's half dead!
- Stan: If I die, you must protect the clan.
- Stan: Osama, is that you?
- Stan: [After stealing a woman's purse] Ok, I got a little carried away back there.
- Jeff: You know what Shakespeare said. I mean I don't, but I'm sure you do.
- Stan: Hilary, look out for the mines!
- [Explosion]
- Hilary Duff: AAAHH!
- Stan: What did I just say? You heard me. What did I say.
- Steve: You said look out for the mines.
- Stan: I said look out for the mines.
- Principal Lewis: You can read! The system works! I'll be back for my stuff.
- Steve: Whoo hoo hoo! I'm riding the buffalo! Yes! Yes, I'm riding the buffalo!
- Steve: All periods will now be called Steves.
- [Cut to a classroom]
- Student 1: Hey, I'm thinking of cutting third Steve. You in?
- Student 2: Yeah, as long as I'm back by fourth Steve.
- Mr. Philips: So, if it's a statement, it should always be followed by a Steve.
- Student 3: Mr. Philips, may I be excused? I'm having my Steve.
- Roger: Holy frijole, I got an idea.
- Stan: Francine, for God's sake, I got him!
- Stan: Steve, I promise you, and this comes from years of experience, women are never right.
- Stan: Damn it, Francine, we're having a moment here!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Pilot (American Dad!)'s Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| American Dad Season 1 | Season 2 >> | ||||||||||
| #01 | Pilot (American Dad!) | #09 | A Smith In The Hand | #17 | Rough Trade | ||||||
| #02 | Threat Levels | #10 | All About Steve | #18 | Finances With Wolves | ||||||
| #03 | Stan Knows Best | #11 | Con Heir | #19 | It's Good to Be the Queen | ||||||
| #04 | Francine's Flashback | #12 | Stan of Arabia: Part 1 | #20 | Roger 'n' Me | ||||||
| #05 | Roger Codger | #13 | Stan of Arabia: Part 2 | #21 | Helping Handis | ||||||
| #06 | Homeland Insecurity | #14 | Stannie Get Your Gun | #22 | With Friends Like Steve's | ||||||
| #07 | Deacon Stan, Jesus Man | #15 | Star Trek | #23 | Tears of a Clooney | ||||||
| #08 | Bullocks To Stan | #16 | Not Particularly Desperate Housewives |
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