Patriot Pigeon is the protagonist of 3012 of Stan's children's books, earning him over 10,000 rejection letters in the process. Patriot Pigeon is notable for dropping his red, white & blue turds of justice on America's enemies.

When Stan tries to inspire Steve when he is in danger of failing his creative writing class in "Star Trek", he shows him his Patriot Pigeon books to help inspire him to persevere. When Steve takes his inspiration from a drunken Roger to write Roger the Alien, his teacher Mr. Durbin is so impressed that he submits it to a publisher were it is accepted. Stan opens the acceptance letter believing is is another rejection letter and then hopes it is Patriot Pigeon Poops on Planned Parenthood when hre reads it as an acceptance before finding out it was meant for Steve.

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