- Francine: [panting and running from the wives] They're everywhere! They're coming to get me! I wonder where she bought that top? I mean, HEEEELLLP!!
- Stan: [about the Klingon weapon] A shame to waste this. Well, I suppose there's always eBay. Yes, I'll kill the enemies I made on eBay!
- Stan: Damn it, Roger, I've told you a million times. No smoking in the house!
- Roger: And I told you, it's menthol. So, it's healthier than an apple.
- Roger: [to Stan after fighting with him] Don't be starting what you can't finish, bitch.
- Klaus: There was a very famous Jewish girl who kept a diary. It ended badly. But enough about Fran Drescher. Ha ha! You thought I was making a Holocaust joke. Shame on you!
- Francine: What are you doing here?
- Linda: Duh, it's Wednesday, our grocery shopping day.
- Francine: Isn't that crazy? I thought my boring routine was killing me, but it ended up saving my life. And that fake lesbian kiss, what a great idea!
- Linda: Fake? Oh, yeah... of course. Fake.
- Steve: [after being locked in Hayley's closet] I can't make it on the outside. I'm an institutional man now.
- Stan: [while reading "The Erotic Reagan" book] Francine, why are you dressed so nice? Those chicks from The View aren't going to burst in here and give me a TV makeover, are they?
- Francine: I'm going to an art gallery. I'm trying to make a good impression on the Ladybugs.
- Stan: [sadly] So... no makeover?
- Francine: If they like me, it's goodbye, boring routine. Hello, exciting charity events, social functions, and book clubs where we just get drunk and complain about our husbands' lack of interest.
- Stan: [still reading] What, now? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. (laughs) Not even a little.
- Stan: What the hell is that?
- Francine: This is Fussy. His owner was killed, and he needs a home.
- Stan: No way, Francine. We're Smiths, and Smiths have manly dogs. This dog couldn't be any more effeminate, even if it had 20 vaginas. And then it would just be a freakish mutant. Or a beautiful symbol of fertility.
- Francine: But...
- Stan: Forget it, Francine. We already have something girly and annoying in this house. It's called Roger.
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Not Particularly Desperate Housewives's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
| American Dad Season 1 | Season 2 >> | ||||||||||
| #01 | Pilot (American Dad!) | #09 | A Smith In The Hand | #17 | Rough Trade | ||||||
| #02 | Threat Levels | #10 | All About Steve | #18 | Finances With Wolves | ||||||
| #03 | Stan Knows Best | #11 | Con Heir | #19 | It's Good to Be the Queen | ||||||
| #04 | Francine's Flashback | #12 | Stan of Arabia: Part 1 | #20 | Roger 'n' Me | ||||||
| #05 | Roger Codger | #13 | Stan of Arabia: Part 2 | #21 | Helping Handis | ||||||
| #06 | Homeland Insecurity | #14 | Stannie Get Your Gun | #22 | With Friends Like Steve's | ||||||
| #07 | Deacon Stan, Jesus Man | #15 | Star Trek | #23 | Tears of a Clooney | ||||||
| #08 | Bullocks To Stan | #16 | Not Particularly Desperate Housewives |
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