Nighthawks Hideaway is an old television show that Stan becomes hooked on in "Rabbit Ears".

When Stan retrieves an old television that had been thrown away, his disgust with the family's lack of appreciation results in him staying in the basement with it. When he gets the television running he discovers a show titled Nighthawks Hideaway hosted by Alistair Covax but is unable to find any information about it.

He visits TV Guide in order to find out about it directly. However, the editor denies that any such show exists, but concedes that occasionally someone will inquire about it. He directs Stan to the Ukrainian Cultural Center where a support group meets to discuss the show.

There, he finds that Tuttle is the only member present. Tuttle explains that there used to be more but they stopped coming and he also has documented various changes to the show, even though it shows the same episode every night. Stan dismisses this information until he happens to see Tuttle in that night's episode. Visiting Tuttle's house, he finds a similar television with the back removed and a dropped notepad with a message about going in. Back home, his own investigation documents various changes from night to night as well.


Opening up the back of the television, he finds it projects a static doorway onto the wall, which allows him to pass through to the show. There, he finds Tuttle, who is slowly losing his memory of his real life. But when they jog the memory of another guest who tries to leave, when the show cuts to commercial and the lights dim, he can be heard screaming and is no longer found when the lights return. They are ordered by the host to play along, or a similar fate awaits them. They briefly manage to escape and return to the real world, but when they step through the door of the Smith home, they are right back on the set. Stan and Tuttle proceed to stay with the show as their memories start to fade, but a fondue pot reminds Stan of Francine, and with his memory returned, he breaks character. The host smashes him into the wall and promises a worse fate as soon as the show goes to commercial, but Stan's damage to the wall reveals a static portal similar to what brought him there. Clawing his way through with Tuttle behind him, they get back to his basement, but the now monstrous host almost gets them again until Tuttle unplugs the television.


In addition to Alistair and the unfortunate schlub that gets devoured, Charlie plays jazz piano for Alistair and Stu joins in on a conversation.

Alistair is voiced by Chris Pine.

The guy that gets devoured is voiced by Fred Savage.

Stu is voiced by Ken Marino.

Daran Norris voices the guy with the book.

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