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Roger: Scotch, crotch, by-gosh.

Stanout
[Stan walks in to find Francine stuffing ham into Steve's underwear, turns and leaves]
Stan: I'm out.

[Hayley in shock about Roger sending him into space]
Hayley: What... the hell... just happened? My Jeff, my dear sweet...my dear sweet... my Jeffmmmm.
[Roger shouting at Hayley while the Smiths are all in the car]
Roger: Hurry up, Hayley. You're sitting in the middle.

[Roger about to contact his home planet to let them pick him up]
Roger: Do I have to go? My planet is freezing cold, there's no booze, and sex is so boring up there. It's all consensual.

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