For a complete script, see: "My Morning Straitjacket" on the Transcripts Wiki

Stan: Spider say "BURP".

Francine: Your dad's an emotional tight-ass...and a literal one.

Francine: Fit that whole phone in your mouth you might have been able to hang with my crew.

Stan: Idiots! Paying good money to see something they've already heard on a record. Get a job hippie. Its called a shower you douchebag. Ooo, she's hot. Uh, better coming than going.

Stan: You whore! Music slut!

Roger: Just licking my finger and flicking the bean...the new L.L. Bean catalog came.

Francine: This is my world and I'm your rock and roll sherpa.

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