American Dad Wikia
[Steve is playing his video games]
Francine: Steve, I asked you to set the table ten minutes ago. Dinner is ready.
Steve: But I'm on level fifteen.
Francine: Well, I'm on level one of the house, where I cook for you. Now set the table.
Steve: I didn't ask you to cook for me.
Francine: Excuse me?
Steve: Mom, I'm busy. I'll do it in a minute.
[Francine unplugs Steve's game console]
Francine: I was thinking... go set the table!
Steve: Fuck you!
[Francine gasps, then Klaus gasps, then Hayley gasps, then Roger, doing some gymnastic moves in the attic, stops in mid-air]
Roger: Whoa.

Steve: Where the hell are the leftovers?
Francine: Looking for something?
Steve: Barry? You're eating the leftovers?
Francine: Maybe you can have his leftovers.
Barry: We both know that's not gonna happen.

Francine: Motherhood!

Snot: I got you dinner. You couldn't leave a ladder for me?
Steve: My mom would see it. It's too dangerous.
Snot: No. What's dangerous is crawling past Hayley's room with a plate full of chipped beef.
Steve: Wait. Her room's on the other side of the hou...
Snot: Let's not get bogged down in the details about who was masturbating where.

Snot: You've already lost, bud. You stink and you're starving. And you're not wearing underwear.
Steve: How can you tell that?
Snot: We're best friends! I know your body.

Hayley: [Pretending to be helpless so Francine will will open a bottle of syrup for her] Maple syrup stuck-stuck.

[Roger offers suggestions for Steve's cooking video channel]
Roger: Oh, oh. How about "A Taste of Steve?" "Mouthful of Steve?" "Steve in Your Mouth?" Stop me when you hear one you like. "A Taste of Steve in Your Mouth?" [dejected] That's all I got.

[Pretending that he has banished everyone in the office, Stan plants himself in Bullock's lap at his desk]
Stan: Ahh, "Deputy Director Smith." First order of business, get a less erect chair.

[Francine is appalled to discover that she and Steve were nearly the victim of "Morning Mimosa"'s cruel hosts]
Francine: You know what Trish, "The Sizzle"? Fuck You! [turns to Steve] Sometimes it's OK to say it. Like now, or when you're driving.

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