For a complete script, see: "May the Best Stan Win" on the Transcripts Wiki


Francine: I'm so confused, dawg.

Cyborg Stan: Stan, I've traveled back like a thousand years, man. We need to talk aboot the future.
Stan: Why do you have an accent?
Francine: Yeah, its like a mixture of Mexican and Canadian.
Cyborg Stan: Oooh....yeah...yeah, uhm, America gets taken over by Mexico and Canada in like a hundred years or something.
Stan: My God, a great nation, defeated by an army of gardeners and boring people.

Choplow.png
Cyborg Stan: Okay, Stan. In the future, all fighting happens very low because future armor protects everyone from the mid calf up. So Imma show you some kicks and punches that attack the ankles [removes pants and squats into a sumo stance]...Okay, so this is the move: Sweep low...chop low...swing low.
Stan: Got it! You don't have to tell me twice. I remember it exactly: Chop low...Rob Lowe...Chad Lowe. Chop low...Rob Lowe...Chad Lowe. Chop low...Rob Lowe...Chad Lowe.

Cyborg Stan: We have to talk about our feelings, homies.
Francine: I'm a married woman.
Cyborg Stan: Yeah, you're married to me, heina.
Francine: Oh...yeah, I...I guess.
Cyborg Stan: I'm Stan. Just a more evolved Stan. A Stan who spent a thousand lonely years without you man, and realized you're the most important in the world, eh.

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