Lt. Eddie Thacker and his partner Chris come to investigate the wreck of Jim who commits suicide by driving in front of a train when he finds his fiancée cheating on him in the saga of The Golden Turd in "Failure is not a Factory-Installed Option".
When he sees the gold turd, he hides it from his partner and takes it home to his wife, Marilyn. They begin to speak of how it will pay for a great retirement and a house in Boca Raton, but the cop regrets his decision and wants to take it back and face the consequences. He's a week from retirement and afraid that he might get fired if found out. They argued until Eddie is starting to believe the gold is affecting them. The wife apparently accepts his decision, but when she starts making tea, she adds rat poison to his cup.
Eddie dies and Marilyn is later arrested and executed for his murder in "Blagsnarst: A Love Story".
Eddie Thacker is voiced by Beau Bridges.