- Stan: Does Terry know? Oh, poor straight Terry!
- Greg: Terry's gay, too. He's my boyfriend.
- Roger: What is it and how can I replace my blood with it?
- Stan: It's a cuervo cosmotinian. Are you crying?
- Roger: Tears of joy, Stan. Tears of joy.
- Stan: I am a pilgrim in an unholy land!!
- Stan: You can't live a gay lifestyle without being gay.
- Steve: Of course you can't!
- Stan: Which is why I've decided to have sex with a man!
- Steve: Dad! This doesn't make me gay, does it, Dad?
- Stan: Only if you get a boner, son. Only if you get a boner.
- Protestors: 2,4,6,8, Gays are bad, God is straight!
- Terry: Don't tell me you voted for he-who-shall-not-be-named!!!
- Stan: Your typical homosexual male will be in great shape, well-dressed, wear sandals, holding a brightly-colored drink, and listening to Celine Dion.
- Steve: I own sandals!
- Stan: Yes, but you can't pull it off.
- Stan: You got gay from Lincoln? You guys are really grasping at straws here.
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