American Dad Wikia
Roger: I just Mr. Belvedered myself!...Google it!

Stan: [talking about his camping trip with his dad and Steve] It was really fun. You should have been there, Francine. I mean, it was a father-son trip so if you had been there it would have ruined everything.

Francine: [over the phone] Steve, you're in jail? Then get Toshi to tag you out. What? You're in real jail?! Don't let anyone tag you!

Hayley: Roger, give me a Coke.
Roger: You got it: Diet Coke.
Hayley: I didn't say diet.
Roger: No, but your thighs did. I heard you walking a mile away. "Here comes Hayley. Here come Hayley"

Klaus: Why don't you go camping? Think of the male bonding opportunities - fishing, hiking. [gasps] You could make spaetzle by the fire.
Jack: That's a great idea! Stan: What's the point?
Steve: Dad, you promised you'd try. It'll be fun. We can make s'mores.
Klaus: Spaetzle.
Steve: Uh, I don't know what that is, but s'mores sound really good.
Klaus: It was my idea. I own camping. If you don't make spaetzle, you can't go camping.
Francine: [to Steve] Just tell him you're going to make spaetzle. He's not gonna know.
Steve: No, it's the principle. We're going camping and we're not making spaetzle!
Klaus: I hope you die out there!

Roger: What just happened? Did I win? [the imaginary child shakes his head before taking the TV and fading away] Hey, wait! That TV's real, I bought that!

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