American Dad Wikia
Francine: You know what's a good show? You shutting up and going to bed.

Steve: I'm coming for you old man!

[Steve walks in, whistling, after Stan finishes using the toilet]
Steve: Oh, hey, don't mind me. I finished ten minutes ago. I'm just looking for the plunger. Mine's so big it won't go down. [He looks in the toilet] Oh, was there a rabbit in here?

Stan: I was not helping your mother with a leg cramp. I was not giving her a lying down hug. I was not helping her look for her contact. I was plowing, Steve.
Steve: [quietly] Oh, my goodness.

Roger: Steve, sit next to me.
Steve: I can't sit up there. My dad marked it. I'm not allowed to sit anywhere he's peed.
Roger: Oh, we can pee where we sit now? Great!

Steve: I got a taste of first class, and now I'm back in coach, squished between two ladies from Toronto.
Roger: Ugh. Blue Jay fans are the worst.
Steve: I dunno. Ever been to a Detroit Tigers game?

Roger: What is it with us? We're a couple of forget-me Marys.
Steve: Yeah, we're a couple of distracted Susans.
Roger: "Forget-me Marys" wasn't good enough for you?
Steve: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were, like, doing a back-and-forth.
Roger: No, we weren't. I said we were forget-me Marys, and that's what we are.

Steve: Yea! Dr. House is skateboarding!

Stan: This is nature, bitch! We're getting primal in this house!

Roger: I'm Ace Chapman, star forward... wait, does it have to be consensual sex?
Steve: Yes.
Roger: Okay. Well then, you definitely don't want Ace.

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