Cee Lo Green: Well, hello there. My name...It's not important. Well, what is is the next half hour. You're gonna see a cautionary tale that may greatly influence your next hot tub purchase.

Marguerite: Oh, you're not one to listen to reason. I get that, I respect that. You idiot.

Steve: Gee, Dad, I'd like to get in the hot tub, too. But I can't 'cuz I'm pretty sure my parents fucked in it last night!

Hot Tub: Hey, we should have a party.
Stan: No can do.
Hot Tub: OK, OK, OK, I hear you; but what if we did?

Principal Lewis: [On answering machine] Hey, it's Lewis, I can never find the damn phone. [Principal Lewis Starts frantically searching for the phone]
Marguerite: [on the phone] Lewis, it's the hot tub. I did some research, man. It used to have a stripper pole in it. They banned it because some tubs, when they get struck by lightning, they come alive! The hot tub is alive, and it escaped from a mental institution, and did some rapes...
Principal Lewis: [Finds the phone in the freezer] What are you saying, Marguerite?
Marguerite: I'm saying, the hot tub, is a murderer.

Cee Lo Green: Well, there you have it, that's our story, Stan's dead. Good night.

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