American Dad Wikia
[Stan and Hayley are dancing at the wedding reception]
Stan: Hayley, I just want you to know, everything I did, I did because I wanted to make you happy.
Hayley: I am happy, Dad. I'm not just gaining a husband. I'm losing a father.

Klaus: I think you only talk to me when there's no one else to turn to. I think that you don't really care what I think and you just need to hear yourself talk. I think you're a selfish bastard and think you can go to Hell.

[Stan aims a shotgun at Hayley.]
Stan: Hayley, don't make me have to...[she quickly snatches the shotgun from him and aims it at him; lovingly and quickly speaking]...spare your life because you're a part of the family!

Roger: My name is Braff Zacklin. I was an international race car driver. One day, a baby carriage rolled out onto the track so I swerved into the retaining wall to avoid it. The car burst into flames, but the baby miraculously survived ... I was that baby.
Steve: That doesn't make any sense.

Steve: Nobody's going anywhere! Something about this "angel" stinks to high heaven!
Roger: [gasps] Very nice!

Steve: You almost got away with it, but nothing gets past Wheels, especially not people walking behind me in a narrow hallway. My first clue that something was amiss was when Angel asked me...
[Flashback to a few seconds ago]
Angel: You gonna finish that?
Steve: [voiceover] At that moment, I thought to myself...
Steve: Wait a minute. What kind of angel eats devil's food cake?
[Flashback ends]
Steve: She's no angel! [pulls the wings off Angel] She's a fraud!
Roger: [clapping slowly] Congratulations. You cracked the case... [gets out of his wheelchair] "Wheels."

Stan: Who's the talking fish?