As Jeff works as a dog walker, Hayley calls and admires his work until the lights go out. She hides under the bed until pulled out by Stan to mark Presidents Day. Stan drives her to the James Garfield Historical Museum. After trying to impress upon her the importance of knowing about presidents, he suddenly realizes that she will be voting in the upcoming presidential election. She isn't impressed by the tour, and complains about being bored, which spreads to Stan and the other guests. To teach her about history, Stan brings back President James A. Garfield.
After Garfield introduces himself, Stan explains how he cloned him from hair in a comb in the CIA Regenesis Lab. At the Treasury Building, Stan leads Hayley and Garfield on a tour and tries to get him to tell about his involvement, but he is more impressed by the television screens, and together, Garfield and Hayley slip out to a movie. There, he continues to be impressed by orange soda and stands up to speak, declaring the day to be National Soda Day to the cheers of the audience. Late that night, they sneak back into the house, but are met by Stan as Garfield explains their day. Stan interrupts, noting that he is ignoring the reason he was brought back until Hayley points out that she would rather spend time with him than Stan. Hayley finds out from Francine that Stan has set out to return Garfield back to non-existence.
At the regenesis lab, Stan prepares to dip Garfield in the regenesis goo, but he escapes. As Stan pursues him to the SodaCorp. orange soda factory, Hayley brings back a clone of Garfield's assassin, Charles J. Guiteau, to track them down from a toenail that was given on the museum tour. Stan catches up with Garfield as Hayley arrives, leaving Stan impressed that she remembered that detail. However, Charles leaps after Garfield from an upper railing, falling to his death and leaving Hayley barely hanging on to the railing to avoid the same fate. As she slips, Stan lunges to save her, successful, but breaking her arm in the process. Stan confesses that he cares more about her than the presidents, leaving Garfield to indulge himself with a tank of orange soda.
At school, Steve signs up with others for the newspaper to get out of sports and is assigned football. In the hall, he runs into Roger posing as “Deep Throat.” At practice, he has trouble focusing on the team rather than the cheerleaders. Principal Lewis reads Steve's story, which is embellished as erotica. Very impressed by the work, he sends him off on another assignment where he runs into Roger again, although he ignores him. Steve provides more erotic pieces, sending Lewis into ecstasy. As a result, he gets his dream assignment of the cheerleaders. Reading the work, he finds out that it is straight news, which Steve explains that it was written after he passed out as Roger informs him that his writing was inspired by his pent-up sexual energy.