American Dad Wikia

Roger: I wanna see all your ta-tas. Except you, Hayley. You have the worst boobs. They're like ninety percent nips. Like two dark castles with tiny little moats.

Bullock: Oh, did I miss a hot sauce and hose party?

Steve: I don't feel that hungover. I guess I can handle my alcohol better than you guys.
Hayley: Oh yeah? Pubic hair...and mayonnaise ice cream.

Bullock: While this loads, did you guys ever think of this: Sylvester Stallone's name... is "Sylvester."

Stan: Let's see what we got. Oh, Lucas!
Steve: Nope. That'll make me cry.
Stan: Okay. Field of Dreams.
Steve: No way. Hits too close to home. I was never close to my father.

Stan: Steve, please, kindly, please find a movie and stop flipping channels before I wring the last breath out of your very, very, very annoying body. Thank you very much. Thanks.

Bullock: So, Francine, which finger should I take?
Francine: This one. [gives the finger]
Bullock: Ooh, that is a hard burn on you, Smiths.

[Roger gives himself a mammogram]
Doctor: Your breasts are full of spiders!
Roger: Perfect! That's the way I like 'em.

Roger: Klaus, my liege. It appears we may be nearing the end of our quest.
Klaus: I can't stop thinking about those spiders in your boobies.


Bullock: So do you and Greg plan to give up butt play for Lent?
Terry: Um, we don't consider that a vice. It's an act of love.

Roger: I fell in love last night, Klaus.
Klaus: Tell me everything. No, tell me the highlights.

Steve: I get real faint at the sight of blood.
Stan: [sarcastic] What? You? No!

Stan: Well, down to seven fingers.

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