American Dad Wikia
[Hayley tries to convince Steve of the perks associated with making fake IDs for herself and her friends]
Hayley: Alright, he'll do your IDs, but first he's got to do his day job. He's a licensed Federal Boobie Inspector.
[Steve pulls out his fake ID as a licensed Federal Boobie Inspector]
Steve: Ladies.
[Hayley's friends shrug their shoulders and lift their tops for Steve. Steve smiles for a moment and then pauses before addressing Hayley]
Steve: I'm taking on a lot of risk here. Do you mind asking them to jump up and down?

Steve: There's a new counterfeiter in town.
Hayley: And his name is Steve.
Steve: No, Hayley. I've given a lot of thought to this. From now on, my name is Guttenberg.
Roger's thug: Oh, like the inventor of the printing press.
Steve: Steve Guttenberg invented the printing press?

[Bart Simpson orders a fake ID]
Steve: Mike Rotch? I'm looking for Mike Rotch?

Klaus: So who's Guttenberg? Are you any closer?
Stan: Yes. He's a teenager, probably working with a sibling, but not a brother. He's from a two-parent home. Father is driven, but stunningly dim. Mother is all over the map, but hot. And there's something sexually ambiguous living in his attic.
Klaus: Yeah, those are the cold facts of his life, tell me about the man. Put it on the board, I'm a visual thinker.
Stan: Okay. He's smart [writes 'smart' on the whiteboard], he's tricky [writes 'tricky'], he's energetic [writes 'energetic], he's very energetic [puts 'very' above 'energetic'. The first letters of every word spells out 'Steve'] See, nothing!

Hayley: Hey, buddy.
Steve: It's called "Fortress of Solitude", not "Fortress of Come-on-In".
Hayley: Oh right. Star Trek Wars...[pretends to shoot guns with her fingers]
Steve: I can't even... first of all... you're not... Ah! What do you want?

Stan: All I have to do is bait the trap. He may be a master forger, but I am a master bai... whoa, whoa. That was close. Almost masturbated myself there.

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