- Roger: Snow globe! [shakes Klaus' fishbowl vigorously]
- Klaus: No! Nooooo!
- Stan: What? I eat here every day before I go home because I can't stand my wife's cooking. What, you never lie to your wife?
- Waitress: Sir, I'm a woman.
- Stan: Of course. I should have noticed you are clearly pregnant.
- Waitress: No, I'm not.
- Stan: Of course you're not, you're far too old to be pregnant.
- Waitress: I'm twenty-three.
- Stan: Well, I would apologize to you if you didn't look like a fat old man.
- Steve: I'm still hiding my new girlfriend from my mom and dad.
- Klaus: Uh-oh.
- Roger: That's normal, a teenager embarrassed of his parents.
- Steve: It's more than that. I've actually been pretending my neighbors Greg and Terry are my parents.
- Roger: Yes, I know them. I painted them.
- Roger: How many times have you been playing with yourself a day?
- Steve: Three.
- Roger: We're gonna up that to five. [He scribbles on a clipboard] You can take this prescription to any room in the house with Kleenex and have it filled.
- Francine: Stop talking fish.
- Klaus: If you can't find me, check the pantry. I go in there to eat baking chocolate and cry sometimes.
- Klaus: He hasn't eaten a meal of yours in ten years! Some of these wolves are fourth generation.
- Steve: Inbred dinner wolves?! This is what I'm talking about! Embarrassing!
- Steve: Au revoir, les enfants! That means, "fuck you!"
- Klaus: Time for Klaus to show how much of a man he really is. [after attempting to sex with the hooker as a fish, Klaus is crying] I'M NOT VERY MUCH OF A MAN!!
- Roger: Hear an IED blew a troop transport over on its side yesterday?
- Soldier: Yes Sarge!
- Roger: On the god-dang main road! 'Till they get a boomerang anti-sniper system on that som'bitch, I'd rather drag ass through the streets on foot!
- Hayley: If you even look at her, I'll pour this hot coffee down your pants, pervert!
- Jeff: Yeah? Well, it'll be the first time you got me hot in a while, Frisbee whore!
Previous Episode's Quotes /// Dr. Klaustus's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes
<< Season 6 | American Dad Season 7 | Season 8 >> | |||||||||
#01 | Hot Water | #07 | Season's Beatings | #13 | Dr. Klaustus | ||||||
#02 | Hurricane! | #08 | The Unbrave One | #14 | Stan's Best Friend | ||||||
#03 | A Ward Show | #09 | Stanny Tendergrass | #15 | Less Money, Mo' Problems | ||||||
#04 | The Worst Stan | #10 | Wheels & the Legman and the Case of Grandpa's Key | #16 | The Kidney Stays in the Picture | ||||||
#05 | Virtual In-Stanity | #11 | Old Stan in the Mountain | #17 | Ricky Spanish | ||||||
#06 | The Scarlett Getter | #12 | The Wrestler | #18 | Toy Whorey |