- Stan: Did everyone else deserve to drown? Grumpy Cat? The Muppets? You're telling me Daniel Tosh has to die but I get to live?
- Hayley: Jeff, do you know why you're shouting?!
- Jeff: 'Cause of that damn helicopter!
- Roger: I once survived four days in a Del Taco parking lot extracting life-saving nutrients from puddles and bird shit.
- Steve: Why didn’t you just go into the Del Taco?
- Roger: I’m a Taco Bell man.
- Narrator: Flute Island? More like Blue Ball Island.
- Narrator: I am rock hard.
- Stan: Your boobs are out.
- Klaus: She told me she was 18!
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