American Dad Wikia
Stan: [poking Francine's breast] Beep beep.

Roger: Seems like someone's conscience is coming out.
Stan: Of the closet? I don't have a conscience, let alone a gay conscience.

[Stan wakes up and attempts to shoot a terrorist, but discovers that his bullets have been replaced by gummy bears]
Stan: Gummy bears?! He replaced my bullets with gummy bears from the minibar! That's gonna cost me seven dollars! [looks at minibar and sees a small pile of money] Oh, he left money. Well, I can't be mad about...wait that's my money!

Roger: Did you rub poo on your shirt?
Stan: What? God no! It's cake.
Roger: Poo cake? I'm putting "poo cake" in your file.
Stan: Wait, no! Is that my permanent record?
Roger: This is just a straw.

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