American Dad Wikia
Francine: Honestly, Stan, what does Hayley have to do with you getting a promotion? It should be enough that you're really good at your job.
Stan: Yeah, it should, but we don't live in Shouldland! Ah, Shouldland, where clean-cut kids cruise Shouldland Boulevard, and the Shouldland High football team gets their optimistic asses kicked by their crosstown rival, Reality Check Tech.

Francine: It's just a CIA carnival. Why are we folding napkins?
Stan: Because there'll be food and my boss likes to wipe his mouth on swans. (picks up napkin) What the hell is this?
Roger: Metrosexual soccer icon, David Beckham. I can't do swans. I don't know why.

Bullock: [to Stan] Say, do you perchance have any Gatorade? I'm afraid I left all my electrolytes with your daughter.

Stan: What the hell do you think you're...
Hayley: Look, Avery called to apologize for what he said at the carnival. We met for coffee, and, well, I know it's crazy, but I like him. He challenges me. And besides, he has a huge...
Stan: Penis, I mean, Hayley! Damn it. I was trying to cut you off before you said...
Hayley: I was gonna say heart, but, well, you shined his shoes.

Hayley: Dad, do something!
Stan: [to the waitress] So what, exactly, is a frittata?
Hayley: Dad!
Stan: Hey, I'm hungry. This guy rode me like an animal for 3 hours! Do you have any idea what that's like? [pause as Hayley gives him a look]
Stan: And now I'm not hungry.

Stan: You slept with my daughter?!
Bullock: Well, to be perfectly honest, neither of us did very much "sleeping."

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