For a complete script, see: "An Incident at Owl Creek" on the Transcripts Wiki

Roger: That's not a good joke because it's not racist.

Roger: According to the map, this is where Amy Carter buried all of her dildos.

Roger: You ever notice when a black man poops in the pool, he's, like, "Yo, check it!" But then, when a white guy poops in a pool, he's, all, "Oh, my, I'm defecating in the swimming receptacle."

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