"A Romantic Appliance" is sung by a gondolier in Little Italy in "Better on Paper", written by a copy machine that has Stan's romantic lobe on a date with Francine.
Lyrics[]
- Gondolier: Kiss her hand, rub her feet
- I'll create chemistry
- Because love can be a science
- When you've got a romantic appliance
- Wait, what is this about?
- Stan: Just keep going!
- Gondolier: I'll say how to treat her right
- Like a dance in the moonlight
- No need for self doubting
- When I'm printing how to keep from drowning
- With my ink and my toner
- She'll fall straight on your boner
- Ew!
- Romance you cannot give her
- Without me, your romance printer
- Gently take her in your arms
- Squeeze her tight without harm
- If I could do that to her
- It would be me instead of this dumb loser
- I'm in no luck, I'm a cuck
- Watching him give her
- A lame fuck
- Because love can be a science
- But she won't love an office appliance