Talk:Roger's Persona Creation Factory

"The robots, programmed to feel pain, scream as they are burned and a significant Roger's collection of notable personas is destroyed as well."

I think it should be rewritten to "The robots, programmed to feel pain, scream as they are burned, and Roger's collection of notable personas is destroyed as well." -- Anythingspossibleforapossible (talk) 00:12, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

I presume the only change is the addition of the single comma? Done. --Buckimion (talk) 00:23, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

No, but thanks for noticing. Specifically, I was referring to where "significant" begins. It doesn't read right to me. -- Anythingspossibleforapossible (talk) 00:27, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

I bolded it to make it clear. -- Anythingspossibleforapossible (talk) 00:27, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

Ok, "portion" was meant to follow that. Sometimes I think ahead and skip words. --Buckimion (talk) 00:28, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

It's not just a missing word, it's the wording of the whole sentence. My change made it readable (and still kept it basically the same). You can change to whatever you want, but currently it still doesn't read clearly enough. -- Anythingspossibleforapossible (talk) 00:57, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

I prefer to phrase it as "significant portion" because he did still have some of his outfits in his closet, so the "collection" wouldn't be a complete loss. We can never tell when exactly one will return. --Buckimion (talk) 01:00, May 8, 2016 (UTC)

Ok. But can it altered a tiny bit by making it say "significant portion of Roger's collection"? Although, that would make the sentence have two "of"s which might not sound right. -- Anythingspossibleforapossible (talk) 01:04, May 8, 2016 (UTC)