John Moschitta, Jr.

John Moschitta Jr. (born August 6, 1954) is an actor, singer, dancer, speed talker, and television personality, used in a wide variety of TV shows, movies, industrial presentations, personal appearances, and commercials for his rapid delivery of speech. For many years he was listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the World's Fastest Talker for speaking 586 words per minute. Because the fast-talking category has been eliminated from current editions of the book, Moschitta now refers to himself as America's Favorite Fast Talker. He had appeared in many Fed-Ex commercials.

John provides the voice of the announcer in "Mine Struggle", listing off the possible candidates that could possibly own the mineral rights to the Smith property. He includes himself, which is displayed as Dracula.