Bernie (Stan's Best Friend)

Bernie is Hayley and Jeff Fischer's lawyer.

When Jeff and Hayley start thinking about a will in "Stan's Best Friend", they don't think they have much to worry about until Jeff reveals he was a multimillionaire widower with a step-daughter named Patricia, a former cook for the band Blues Traveler and owned the rights to their first album. However, he gave the rights to his step-daughter as a fiftieth birthday present. Hayley insists they get them back. But when they take their lawyer Bernie to Patricia's house to force the handover of the album master tapes, he ends up proposing to her for her money. Patricia's happy just to have a chance for some sex. As Hayley is aggravated at letting the money slip though her fingers, Jeff offers to pay for Patricia's and Bernie's wedding.

Bernie appears again in "Max Jets", reading the will of Roger's persona of the same name where the Smith's find that Max left all of his money to his 'son', Jerry Jets, another one of Roger's personas whom Gina was cheating with and they fail to get the money anyways. Jerry and Gina reveal that Gina poisoned the cake after making Max make amends with his son and they inherited everything.

Bernie is voiced by George Segal.