Twenty-Five Miles

"Twenty-Five Miles" is sung by Stan in "Lumberjerk" as the distance to the Langley State Fair that opens that day. However, his plans of getting up close and personal with the lumberjacks is brought to a halt when he is reminded that it is his and Jeff's annual day out together.

Lyrics

 * [Loud fiddle music plays as Stan's alarm goes off]


 * Francine: [groggy] Stan, it's 5:00 A.M. [music stops]


 * Stan: On opening day of the state fair! Just 25 measly miles between me and those gates.


 * [Fiddle music resumes and Stan starts singing]


 * 25 miles until I get to heeeaven


 * 25 miles until I reach the gaaates


 * 25 miles until I get to the state fair


 * Where me, Ole Stanny-Boy, can plaaaaaay


 * [The music stops and Stan is shirtless in the kitchen as Hayley eats breakfast]


 * Hayley: Gross. Dad, put a shirt on. And... [scoffs] what's with the denim?


 * Stan: This is my state fair outfit, ya doofus. It's opening day. The only day the lumberjacks are there signing autographs. And this year, I'm getting my poster signed. [unrolls a poster of a hot-looking lumberjack]


 * Hayley: Huh. Weird. That's how you're spending your yearly bonding day with Jeff?


 * Stan: Wait. What?


 * Jeff: [enters singing]  ' Cause my wife wants her dad to see I'm not worthless


 * Yes!


 * It's Stan and Jeff's bondage daaaaaay!